Musings on Marriage

Riddle me this?  What incentive does the modern day man have to settle down and get married these days?  Seriously?  I don’t get it.

[Then again, perhaps I’m jaded.  Or perhaps I live in a city that is so profoundly different from most other small towns that the dynamic here in San Francisco is the exception?  I dunno.]

Here’s what I do know; or rather, here’s what I’ve observed.  First off, there are just too many pretty fish in the damn sea that is San Francisco for most dudes to feel pressured to settle on just one gal.  And even if they DO decide to seriously date one girl, if she gets all serious on ’em and asks the dreaded and often times inevitable, “so… where do you see this going?” question, she’s just booked herself a one-way ticket direct to Splitsville. 

As soon as a guy feels the pressure of having to explain to his significant other what his long-term intentions are with her, can you blame a guy for immediately feeling terrified?  I don’t.  For a guy who isn’t ready to fully commit, if he hasn’t brought up the topic of marriage to you or if he changes the subject every time you bring it up, then I think you have your answer right in front of you, ladies.  Take my advice: RUN!

I mean, I think that for most guys, the thought of spending all of eternity with one chick goes against what he believes nature had intended for him and for all the other males in the greater animal kingdom.  Studies have suggested that there really are no other animals other than the human race that monogamously pair up.  And even if we think it’s “monogamous”, is it really?

And let’s explore the institution of marriage for a moment.  I would argue that marriage exists largely for procreation.  To provide two people a church-endorsed platform to bring children into this world, bound by the sanctity of marriage because financially, could a single woman support herself and 8+ kids on a meager salary?  Ummm… no.   Nowadays, I even question why the modern woman still feels that marriage is the answer, especially as women have solidified their footing in the workforce and are out-earning their partners.

Are we conditioned, ladies, to feel that marriage is the epitome of success in life and in a relationship?  Do we pass judgment on our other women when they’re not married by a particular age?   I think we do.

All too often, women settle for characteristics and behaviors from their men that are less than what’s ultimately desired.  Meaning, compromise runs rampant in most relationships.  Add to that, women largely believe that they can “fix” any inadequacies that their gentlemen present them with. 

I say eff that.  Why would I want to spend all of eternity with a guy that I’m trying to change the whole time?  Uh uh, no no.  Not gonna happen.

I’ve found myself bringing up this semi-controversial topic to a lot of my friends lately, both male and female alike, and to those who are single and in a serious relationship.  I have yet to have received a surprising answer.  I plan on asking folks their thoughts on this topic from time and time again in an attempt to keep a temperature gague on what my peers have to say about marriage.


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