[the following is an abridged version of a scene from Groundhog Day — one of my favorite films]
“Who’s your perfect guy?”
“First of all, he’s too humble to know he’s perfect….
He’s intelligent, supportive, funny. . .
He’s romantic and courageous…..
He’s got a good body but doesn’t have to look in the mirror every two minutes…
He’s kind, sensitive and gentle…
He’s not afraid to cry in front of me….
He likes animals, children, and he’ll change poopy diapers…
Oh, and he plays an instrument, and he loves his mother.”
The specific lines that Andie MacDowell recites in this scene always make me think of my own “list” — that is, what are the qualities that I deem absolute necessities when it comes to my own version of “the perfect guy”. I’m not going to list those things here, but I will say that I believe this is something that us females should really take to heart and think about seriously. When you think of the guy that you want to be with, what are the absolute deal-breakers? What are the must-haves, versus the nice-to-haves?
All too often, women compromise the things that they ultimately want in a mate and forget about making themselves and their OWN wants and desires a priority. I remember once talking to a guy friend of mine some time ago, asking him about what he envisioned for his future, whether or not it included the traditional elements like a wife and children and owning his own home, etc. He told me that one of the things that he couldn’t wait to do was to “spoil the hell out of [his future] wife….” I remember hearing that and being so impressed, thinking to myself, “Wow, damn straight! THAT’S how it should be!”
And that’s what I want — I want my mate to “spoil the hell outta me” — I want him to cherish me + the ground that I walk on. I realize that might sound presumptuous or bold of me to say, but I believe we’re all deserving of that when in a committed relationship. Shouldn’t we all feel spoiled by our significant other? Shouldn’t we feel special everyday? And shouldn’t the one person that we’re with be invested enough to realize that a significant part of their duty as a partner in a relationship is to take an active role and cherish their mate?
Seems simple enough to me. So while I might not have listed out the many attributes that I believe make up my “perfect guy”, one of the most paramount things that I want in my next relationship is to feel spoiled, to be excessively indulged. I’m deserving of it, damnit. As is everyone out there in a committed monogamous relationship.